Getting Started
Suction feels alien at first. Here's what actually happens, why it works, and how to ease into the Lem without the weird factor.
Most of us have never felt suction on our clitoris before. So when you pick up a lemon clitoral vibrator for the first time, your brain does what brains do. It says: this is strange, therefore it might be bad. That's not intuition. That's just unfamiliarity. Once you push past the first thirty seconds, almost everyone gets it.
Let's be specific so you know what to expect. Suction doesn't feel like a vibrator humming against you. It feels like a gentle pulling sensation, almost like a kiss, but with consistent rhythm. Your clitoris gets drawn up into a small chamber where the stimulation happens. It's not rough. It's not painful. It's just different from the friction-based vibration you might be used to.
The Lem, Hello Nancy's lemon clitoral vibrator, uses air-pulse technology instead of traditional vibration. That means it creates a sealed cup around the clitoris and pulses the air pressure inside. The lower settings feel gentle and teasing. The higher settings feel more intense, but still nothing like banging. Many people describe it as building pleasure in waves rather than straight-line intensity.
Here's the weird part: because it doesn't rely on friction, it actually works better on sensitive tissue. And because it works through suction rather than direct pressure, you can use it longer without numbness or overstimulation. That's why so many people who tried lemon vibrators out of curiosity ended up obsessed.
Three reasons the initial reaction is "no thank you":
1. It's a novel sensation. Your body doesn't have a reference point. Novel doesn't mean bad. It means your brain needs one attempt to catalog it as safe.
2. You might start too high. If someone hands you a lemon vibrator and you turn it on at level five, of course it feels intense. Start at one. Literally. You can always go up.
3. You're tensing against it. Anticipation creates tension. Tension makes suction feel uncomfortable. Relaxing into it, even deliberately, changes everything.
This is the approach I recommend to clients who are nervous:
Step one: turn it on before you touch yourself. Hold the Lem in your hand, switch it on at level one, and feel it in your palm for ten seconds. Your nervous system gets the safety signal without the vulnerable feeling of it touching your body.
Step two: start somewhere less sensitive. Rest it gently on your labia majora (the outer lips) or your inner thigh first. Let your body get used to the sensation away from the most sensitive area.
Step three: move to the clitoris, still on level one. Don't press hard. Let it sit gently. You're not trying to achieve an orgasm on attempt one. You're just gathering information.
Step four: stay there for thirty seconds, then stop. Seriously. Don't marathon it. Stop while you still feel curious rather than overwhelmed.
Step five: do it again tomorrow. Your nervous system learns fastest with repetition spaced over days, not all at once.
By day three, most people who were nervous find themselves reaching for it without hesitation. By day five, they're experimenting with higher settings. By week two, they're wondering why they waited this long to try it.
If your clitoris is small or more retracted, suction might feel more intense because there's less tissue space. If your clitoris is larger or more external, you might need a slightly higher setting to feel the full effect. Neither is wrong. The Lem has eight settings specifically so you can find what works for your anatomy. And unlike friction-based vibrators, you can adjust on the fly without stopping.
Some people are more sensitive to pressure changes than others. If you've always hated vacuum cleaners or had a bad experience with something suction-based, your nervous system might need extra reassurance. That's real. Start even lower. Take even more time. There's no prize for rushing.
Yes, most people who stick with it get there. But here's what I tell nervous first-timers: don't make the orgasm the goal yet. Make comfort the goal. Make curiosity the goal. Make figuring out your body the goal. The orgasm usually shows up once you stop white-knuckling it.
Many people report that orgasms from suction feel different than what they're used to. Sometimes sharper. Sometimes longer. Sometimes more full-body. That difference is also not bad. It's just different. Your nervous system needs permission to find it interesting rather than wrong.
"Will it get stuck?" No. The Lem is designed with a safety release. Even if somehow the cup lost power, you can manually break the seal and remove it in two seconds.
"Will it hurt?" Not if you start low and relax. Suction feels uncomfortable only when you're tense or when the setting is too high for your current sensitivity level. Neither is mandatory.
"Will I be able to feel regular vibrators again?" This is the actual worry hiding behind most nervous questions. Yes, you will. Suction doesn't rewire your body. It just adds a new option.
"What if I don't like it?" You return it, or you gift it to someone more adventurous. That's fine. Not everything works for everyone. But most of the time, the nervousness fades faster than you'd expect.
If you're trying a lemon clitoral vibrator while partnered, nerves sometimes come from worrying about judgment. Tell your partner first. "I'm going to try something new. I might be awkward about it for a few days. That's normal." Most people respect honesty more than they care about the specific thing you're trying. And if your partner is weird about it, that's information worth having.
Some couples find that introducing the Lem together actually reduces anxiety. You're exploring something new as a team. The pressure feels lower because you're literally sitting next to each other learning. If you want to try it solo first to get comfortable, do that. But if partnering feels like the easier entry point, that's valid too.
Here's what I've observed across years of conversations: most people who are nervous about trying a lemon vibrator aren't actually nervous about the device. They're nervous about prioritizing their own pleasure. They're nervous about the fact that suction works so well that it makes it impossible to ignore what they enjoy. They're nervous about owning that openly.
That's the real barrier. And once you push through that once, everything else becomes easier.
It feels like a gentle pulling sensation, almost like a soft kiss. At the lowest setting, it's barely perceptible. Many people describe it as their brain going "oh, that's actually kind of nice" within five seconds. The first sensation is usually curiosity, not discomfort, as long as you start on level one and take your time.
Completely. In fact, many first-time vibrator users prefer suction-based options like the Lem because they don't rely on friction. If you've never used anything before, you have zero bad habits to unlearn. Just start on the lowest setting and give yourself permission to go slow.
Wait until the current setting feels predictable and good. For some people that's ten minutes. For others it's three days. When level one stops feeling novel and starts feeling like "yeah, I like this," you're ready to try level two. There's no rush. Your pleasure isn't going anywhere.
Try these three things before deciding it's not for you. One: make sure you're completely relaxed. Tension makes suction feel sharp. Two: try it on your inner thigh or labia first rather than jumping straight to the clitoris. Three: wait a full week and try again. Your nervous system learns through repetition. One bad experience doesn't equal one-strike rule.
No. The cup creates its own seal, so you don't need lubrication for it to function. That said, if you want extra comfort or if your body runs dry, a tiny bit of water-based lube on the rim doesn't hurt anything. It might even help the seal feel smoother.
Completely normal. Your body might be in a state of expectation rather than relaxation. You might be thinking about whether you're doing it right instead of just feeling it. Try again tomorrow. The second or third attempt usually lands differently because your nervous system isn't as busy cataloging the novelty.
Nervousness about trying a lemon clitoral vibrator usually comes from imagination, not from the actual experience. Once you spend thirty seconds with it on the lowest setting, most of that nervousness dissolves. What remains is just curiosity about whether you'll like it. And that's a question worth answering. We have a whole guide on how to get started with the Lem if you need more specifics. For now, remember: start low, go slow, and trust that your body knows how to tell you what feels good. Everything else is just details.
If questions come up after your first attempt, we're here. Reach out at Hello Nancy's contact page anytime.